This fixes the way that submodule status is checked to bypass just
about all of the caching in the submodule object.  Based on the
ignore value, it will try to do the minimum work necessary to find
the current status of the submodule - but it will actually go to
disk to get all of the current values.

This also removes the custom refcounting stuff in favor of the
common git_refcount style.  Right now, it is still for internal
purposes only, but it should make it easier to add true submodule
refcounting in the future with a public git_submodule_free call
that will allow bindings not to worry about the submodule object
getting freed from underneath them.